pejam, pejam celik, celik.. dah nak pergi Ramadan tahun ini. Aku rasa sedih pun ada. Bulan barakah ini akan pergi. Kerahmatan dan keberkatan yang Allah beri pada bulan mulia ini hanya akan kembali tahun depan.
Rasa rugi dan sesal pun ada tidak menggunakan sepenuhnya manfaat kemuliaan bulan ini.
Sedihnya ini Ramadan terakhir dengan izin Allah s.w.t aku sebagai siswa di universiti Tenaga Nasional. Segala kenangan berbuka dan bersahur dan pelbagai aktiviti dengan sahabat, rakan aku yang best in the world akan menjadi kenangan selepas ini. (T-T)
Syahdunya bila lihat rakan – rakan terutama housemates Seri Cahaya yang aku sayangi ni balik rumah. Ap kes dengan aku ni? ahaha.. orang suka bila dapat balik ke rumah keluarga masing-masing, aku pula macam empty. Mungkin terlalu spent much time dengan mereka. Walaupun aku the only budak COIT dalam rumah, tapi we spent a lot of time quite a lot. everyday jumpa. Iftar bersama, kejutkan dari tidur untuk bersahur, samada masak di rumah atau keluar menyelusuri jalan raya yang dingin dan tiada kenderaan di pagi yang hening mencari restoran untuk sahur.
kalau berbuka pula, gi bazar kat PKNS atau Putrajaya pastu makan ramai2 di tepi tasik Putrajaya. Atau gi restoran makan steak.. ahaha
demm i miss a lot! pasni bila da masuk alam kerjaya, dah takde lagi masa begini.
Dah terbalik kot, aku tak rasa semangat nak pulang berhari raya tapi gembira dapat kumpul dengan keluarga semula..
tahun inilah kali pertama aku balik ke rumah berbuka dengan famili lima kali sahaja. itupun balik sebab alasan tiada duit dan rindu masakan mak aku. pastu pagi2 mak kejutkan. ^^.. Best!
Cuma raya tahun ni aku tiada feel. Xde semangat.. aku nak puasa je. Siyesly..
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Macam2 berlaku dalam semester ni sehingga aku rasa terlalu penat nak deal with all the problems at the same time.
Thanks as I still got my friends on my back for support. Although lose one, but i still have another friends for joy like I am before and jadi macam kanak-kanak Ribena. ahaha..
I am quite touchy rite now since yesterday after all we *SC housemates* left.
This dearest friend that others *SC housemates* and I distant and ignore after a personal prob with him hugged me before he return to his family home. not once but twice. makes me feel touch with his weird act. the first one he hugged me after we both confront for the first after a month about the prob that cause such a chaotic life like reality television… ahaha.. exaggerated story nampaknya.. :p
The second one before he left the home. I feel sad and missed many things together. Ahah, it;s not like a gay themed story ok? just a story of fellowship of brotherhood that broken apart.
. just felt touchy and regret for what has happened.
feel like I missed a lot of things with him. not used to before where we hangout and do many things together where he must be there if there are any program or hangout planning.
Just lately, all of us particularly me left him in all of the programs especially during this Ramadan. Maybe once or twice he iftar with us. Sahur also the same. part of me want him to join but part of me said no. Even hangout or others activity also ignore him. This is how u teach a lesson to a person who doesn’t respect and doesn’t care about his friends feeling when he decides to do something.
But hey, lelaki la. Tak jantan la layan2 perasaan nih. Berlagak cool la like nothing happpened. yes, we are. but when ur surround by a circle of friends that base on band of brothers and united under one banner of a club called Astena, u are part of a second family. Don’t put ur ‘family’ on behind when to decide something that u know could fatally jeopardize the foundation of trust and love of friendship that u embrace.
During our direct to face conversation, he felt sad when we ignore him. I also said to act normal again is hard. can u life like a puppet and say hi like nothing happened? yes, maybe we have thatre branch, but real life is not the same ok? i cant pretend that all the chaos happened is nothing. it is not ok ye? And I am not follow others to decide things. Maybe yes but hey, u make a shit with us. So deal with it.
IN these final journey of Ramadan, I truly say I am sorry for anything that hurt him. But still some part of our life cannot be repair easily. Take time. So be patient..
*kepada readers, bila meluah hati, aku lebih senang berbahasa Inggeris walaupun broken English*